Don’t try to solve your problems. Instead, know that your problems are pointing to the bigger things that stopping you from being who you truly are. Focusing on your problems is like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Your problems are the misdirection you put in front of you to avoid looking at your deeper truths. I want to offer you a way OUT of your problems.
Moving away from your problems means showing up very differently in your life.
You stop looking for the resolutions. Instead, ask yourself these questions:
- What are my problems making me believe about myself?
- What can I trace those beliefs back to?
- How do I usually react when you have these beliefs?
- How do I pressure other people to change when I have these beliefs?
You may be tempted to believe that your problems are caused by other people. They aren’t. When you are activated by something that someone has done or said, instead of being reactionary, stop. Be curious about where they are struggling. This curiosity will distract you from being hijacked by your own wants needs and frustrations. Focus on what they need instead of what you want from them. It doesn’t mean you have to give it to them. It only means that you will have a greater knowledge about their state of mind as it pertains to them and not you.
This is a practice of empathy. In this practice, look for opportunities to make personal connections with complete strangers. Ask someone how they are doing. If they say “okay” or “good,” respond with, “Only okay? Only good? What is something great that’s happening in your life right now?”
Look at the people around you, the people in your life, the people at the next table at a restaurant. Ask yourself, what they are struggling with. Ask yourself, what is the belief they are carrying about themselves? By maintaining this practice of empathy, you will distract yourself from the pain that comes with the belief that other people are the cause of your upsets in life. You will be released from the illusion that others have power over your peace of mind.