All posts by Dan Gordon

Your 10 BIG Networking Mistakes

Networking is an essential part of any marketing effort, and so many people get it WRONG! Here are some hints from The BigTime Group to help you get it right.

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MISTAKE 1: Starting a conversation with, “So what do you do?”

BORING! Everyone at networking events begin their conversations like this. Here’s your opportunity to stand out. Instead of jumping right into business chatter, be original. Pick out something on which you can compliment them. Something like, ‘Nice watch’, ‘Cool shoes’, ‘That’s a great outfit’, ‘I love that necklace.’ Starting with a compliment or positivity is a great way to open someone up and begin a connection.

MISTAKE 2: Starting a conversation talking about yourself.

Never ever, ever open a conversation by telling the other person about you. Instead, deflect the conversation away from yourself and ask questions about THEM. When others feel that you are interested in them, they judge you as smarter and more trustworthy. Also, by asking questions, you can determine how your business can be valuable to them.

MISTAKE 3: Talking too long about your business.

Have a 30 second buzzer in your head. Don’t talk about your business any longer than that before relating the conversation back to the other person. Ask them if they have had a similar experiences, how they handled a similar situation or simply ask them their opinion, visit fixbodygroup.com. If you find yourself going on too long, stop mid-sentence and apologize. Be humble. It’s endearing.

MISTAKE 4: Talking about the technical details of what you do.

Let’s say you own a tire store. Don’t launch right in to talking about all the different types of tires you sell. If you’re a lawyer, don’t talk about all the kinds of legal services you offer. Instead, tell a story. Talk about a person you helped. Spice it up with a little drama. Talk about how they were stressed prior to working with you. Explain what you did to help them and save the day. It won’t sound like bragging if you stay focused on being grateful for having a business that gives you the opportunity to be in service to other people.

MISTAKE 5: Presenting yourself as just another lawyer, accountant, real estate agent, etc.

You always want to show up in the room as a thought leader in your industry. That means speaking knowledgeably and having specific opinions about your business. The greatest way to get others to think of you as valuable is to freely offer advice and the benefit of your experience. Help them on the spot with a specific problem. Use language like:

  • “Can I make a suggestion?”
  • “Here’s what I know about (the problem they’re facing) ”
  • “The mistake I see a lot of people making with this is…”

By being the person at the event who is the most knowledgeable and helpful, you immediately stand out from all the other people who are just trying to sell their services.

MISTAKE 6: Dancing the Business Card Boogie.

Don’t just run around passing people your business card and getting theirs. Don’t even offer someone your business card in the first minute of the conversation. In fact, don’t offer someone your business card EVER! Wait until your have first established a rapport with them. Get to know that person and develop a real connection. Then (and only then) ask for their card. Now it feels genuine. They will likely want yours in return.

MISTAKE 7: Pocketing a business card and moving on.

Ever come home from a networking event with a hand full of business cards thinking, “Who are all these people?” You can’t expect to remember details about everyone you met. Instead, get their card, walk a few steps away and write notes on the back. For instance, let’s say that you sell car insurance and the guy you spoke to has kid going to college soon. Write that down. When you follow up with him, reference the son’s name and talk about the great insurance plans you offer for college students. He’ll be amazed you remembered!

MISTAKE 8: Scanning the room while the other person is speaking.

When engaged in a conversation, don’t look around the room to see what else is going on. Maintain fierce eye contact and wait for them to look away first. Develop a GENUINE interest in other people. As they talk, nod so they know you are hearing them. Don’t fake it either. Let them feel that you are truly interested. Be the kind of person who really listens to them instead of the kind of person who is just waiting for their turn to talk.

MISTAKE 9: Answering, “What do you do for a living?” with what you do for a living.

Don’t just give a clinical description of your job like, “I own a tire store.” BORING! Instead, draw pictures in people’s minds. Inspire their curiosity and imagination. Say something like, “I make sure that families are safe on the roads.” This will make the other person curious and want to know more. Talk about why you got into your line of work and what keeps you passionate about it. Tell stories of your favorite clients https://www.larsadditions.com/ or customers. Keep people on the edge of their seat.

MISTAKE 10: Wearing hip or sexy clothing instead of dressing professionally.

So many people at networking events try to come off as the coolest one in the room. These gatherings can often look like an amateur fashion show. People think that the way to win business is to “stand out.” WRONG! If that was true, you should wear a blinking light on your head. Forget the funky hat, the perfectly ripped jeans and the hipster shirt. Instead, dress like the person who is serious about what they do. People want to do business with those they trust, not those showing skin or those with the coolest wardrobe!

The Ego’s Flying Trapeze

Our ego’s primary goal is to maintain its identity. It operates under the belief that it will live forever as long as the ego self is not altered or deconstructed in any way. It therefore must insist upon promoting its own view at all times. The ego works ceaselessly, building stories about the world around it based on the profound experiences of its past. The ego champions only the experiences that support its view and discards all the others. These selected stories of our past become mind movies which play on an infinite loop. We relive them over and over. Thus the ego achieves within us a belief system, the lens through which we view the world. It asserts that these mind movies represent the ultimate and unflappable truth. They cannot be denied. When challenged, the ego will fight to maintain these beliefs at all costs; even killing the body in the process.

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It is important to understand that, at a very deep level, we are absolutely terrified of changing our stories. We have expended a great deal of energy creating and supporting these stories. They have served us almost all our lives by providing a simple structure for how to exist in the world. We therefore approach the idea of change (any change) with a great deal of resistance. Ironically we put up the greatest resistance to change in the very moments when we claim to be absolutely committed to change. How often have we seen friends and associates setting out to change some aspect of their lives only to later watch them resist and sabotage the very changes they claim they wish to make?

To our ego, this is not a fight. It is simply a matter of survival. Like booting up a computer, humans come into the world with a preset operating system. The most core part of that operating system is squarely focused on survival. The human animal is programmed to survive at all costs. When people are over exposed to the cold, our bodies will shut down blood supply to the extremities, sacrificing the hands and feet to preserve the core. In the same way, the ego will sacrifice our opportunities for growth and development to preserve its own core. It only knows itself in the now; incapable of understanding the value of short term discomfort for long terms gains.

In stepping forward to become greater versions of ourselves, we enter into an ego struggle. We push at its very will for self-preservation. The ego goes on high alert, sounding a klaxon, warning us to resist any and all changes. It plays mind movies, showing scenes of our decimation, humiliation and doom. It works nonstop to scare us back into emotional homoeostasis where it believes we are safe.

It is in this ego struggle where our growth potential begins. Here, we are like the practicing trapeze artist who must summon the courage to let go of one bar, leap through the air and have the faith that the next trapeze bar will be there for him to grab. The ego doesn’t like this at all. It assures us that such a move will result in our body’s destruction, but really it’s most concerned about its own destruction. In truth, a part of ourselves (our “self”) does end when we stretch out to become greater beings.

The question then becomes, what part of us are we willing to let die? How do we surrender to the unknown? Indeed, becoming a better version of ourselves does sound enticing but then what happens to the version we are today? How do we let go of the trapeze bar when everything within us is saying, hold on tighter? How do we enter into the willingness to die and be reborn? How do we update our belief systems, our dramas and traumas, our roles as victim or villain, our ideal selves as hero or destroyer? The answer may indeed be more puzzling than the question.

It begins with wiping clean the white board of our existence. We stand willing to put into question every known quantity of our lives. Our concepts of love, kindness, hurt and pain become variables that shift back and forth while they undergo a reexamination. Most of all, we must first accept that we are choosing to awaken from the confining dream of ego-as-a-permanent-self. Instead, we make the absolute commitment to live life in the realm of being open, honest and vulnerable at all times. We stand at the precipice of our known universe and choose to step off. Visit International Federation for Choral Music website.

It is at this exact point where many people end their spiritual path. They return to the comforting and secure world that the ego has built for them and never venture forward again. If that is your choice, honor it.

If instead you do choose to move forward into the unknown then you need to strike a deal with the part of you that makes decisions. You need permission from the “you” who decides what information to let in and what information to reject. You must ask it to trust that a new way of being will not be its end, but instead a great continuation of itself. You make that request of it daily, hourly and sometimes in every moment. You align yourself with it, check out www.adl-usa.com/ for more info. You engage in bold acts of new consciousness to teach it that the ideas and actions it has feared are actually the very things that will bring it what it truly wants. It’s a new kind of security that only comes from accepting that fear and uncertainty are now your best allies.

Together you move forward in a new enhanced ego self. You swing back and forth on the trapeze bar of your universe, gaining greater momentum. At the apogee of your forward swing you let go of the bar and fly into the void. Check out here water damage restoration services. There you are, spinning mid air, existing in the uncertainty and wonder of whether you will fall to your death or whether the next trapeze bar will be there when you reach forward to grasp it. What happens next is nothing short of spellbinding.